Hi Everyone, it has been awhile since I have blogged, and I apologize. I love blogging and I really miss it. Since now and my last post, there have been many changes. To start off, I am officially home, and I could not be happier with my choice. As unhappy as I was, I was very nervous and apprehensive to leave but I now know I definitely made the right decision. I have started school and am back in the groove of things and it is such a great feeling. Anyway, I haven't blogged because I have been struggling to figure out what to talk about, but hey that's not new. My inspiration always hits me at the most random and bizarre times, but I guess it's better late than never, so here we go.
Growing up I was never the stereotypical girly girl. By that I mean, I did not enjoy shopping or wearing make up or talking about boys, in fact I wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of it. My mom used to force me to buy new clothes because I was always satisfied with my beat up overalls and ripped vans. With that said, I also was never the tomboy. One would hardly say I was athletic. I tried playing soccer when I was 6, and I was pretty good, if good is defined as scoring in my own teams goal consistently. :) I fell somewhere in the middle of tomboy and girly which I feel is where most people do. Throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school I followed the beat of my own drum which is how I have always been. I was never concerned about what people thought of me, nor did I care, for the most part. I have always had a bizarre, dorky, sarcastic personality and never fell into one specific category. But, I have never been super confident nor have I done things far out of my comfort zone when it came to style until recently.
I am not very good at expressing myself unless it is in my writing. But, since graduation I have decided that I do not care and have just run with whatever look I am feeling that day and I am glad I did. Because of it I feel comfortable in my own skin and am starting to figure out who I am which is very exciting to me. I have started to challenge my self more often to go out of my comfort zone because that is the only way you grow. For example, I recently just got my nose pierced. I never did it because for one I couldn't do it without my parents permission unless I was 18, and also I never wanted to do it because I was too scared to push the boundaries for myself. It may seem very miniscule, but for me it was a big step. I have wanted it since the 9th grade and after 4 years of wanting it I finally got the courage to do it. I used to wear little stick on studs and pretended that I had it done, I was pretty creative (; Anyway, the point of this story is to just not care what others think, and to some extent that can include your parents.
My parents were 100% against me getting it, but it's my body, my choice, and it makes ME happy, so why not? I am not saying to be disrespectful and defy what they ask of you but at some point in time you have to just ask yourself if it is worth sacrificing your happiness for what they think is best for you. You are going to be on your own one day, it may not be soon, but I think it is important to make your own decisions. You have to know what is best for you and what is going to make you happy and feel confident, not them. You have to make decisions that make you feel liberated, but also ones that end up being mistakes. Lord knows I am not perfect and have made countless mistakes, plenty of which my parents let me make, and I am so thankful for it.
My parents knew I wasn't ready to leave home yet, but I was convinced that I was ready so they let me figure it out for myself. Experiment. Whether it is with clothes, makeup, friends, whatever, try new things. Just because the clothes you like aren't "in style" doesn't mean you shouldn't buy them. Who cares? The norm is over rated anyway. Wear those psychedelic pants or that long bohemian skirt or that funky hat. When it comes to style, every thing you wear is an extension of your personality, so make it as crazy or as mellow as you want. Wear that purple lipstick because you love it and no one else is wearing it yet. Dye your hair pink for the summer if it makes you feel beautiful. Life is too short to sit and let society's expectations control what we do.
I have never been a makeup guru nor was I ever one who was gifted in fashion but after high school I started to play around with my look. I dyed my hair dark for a little while then I switched it to light, I wore a disgusting amount of face makeup and tried painting my nails ombre. I failed miserably, and my friends got a good laugh but through that I figured out what I do and don't like, and now I can say I know what I am doing most of the time which is really nice for me to be able to say. Style is the example I am using because I have always lacked it. I never had an interest because I was too scared to experiment with it and look weird. Now, I would always rather be the girl who people say has weird style than the girl who gives in to everyone else's expectations and desires for her. To sum my whole rant up, do what makes you happy, and don't be scared to test your limits. You will thank yourself later.
Monday, February 16, 2015
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
You Live & You Learn
Hi Guys!! AH the holiday season is rapidly approaching and thanksgiving is on thursday and as a college student, thanksgiving is a dream come true, thank the lord it is only a few short days away! I am flying home tomorrow and I do not think I could be happier. I have sadly been swamped with homework and tests, yet again. If you are in high school and think you have it rough, enjoy it now, you will soon have essays on essays, and, spoiler alert: it is not fun. :) I always seem to be updating you on what I am watching or listening to, so to continue that trend I am now obsessing over Grey's Anatomy and am for whatever reason listening to Selena Gomez's new track on repeat. The name of the song is, the heart wants what it wants, don't let the cliché turn you off, it is good. I love the video, it is very raw and during it, she shows her real emotion and that is very rare to see in an artist, so it is cool to watch, if you have a chance you should go check it out.
I think everyone has a person that no matter what happens or how much time passes, you will always love them and want the best for them. To go more in depth, I have a few people I have had ridiculously unique relationships with, ones I do not think I can necessarily find again, but there is always one person that just hooks ya, atleast, that's how I see it. When things, as in relationships, or plans do not work out how I wanted, as you may already know, I believe it is for a reason. But, sometimes it is very hard to understand why things do not work out the way you wanted because they seemed like they would be perfect. No matter how much time passes, sometimes it is hard to get over a situation, for me, it takes me a very long time to mourn the loss of any type of relationship, depending on how much the person means to me. It takes a certain kind of person for me to open up and trust, but when I do, you will know I really care about you, especially if I make fun of you ;). It is okay to take some time and think about a situation, obviously you do not want to devote your whole life to analyzing it, but taking a step back and assessing what went wrong can be good, as long as it isn't obsessive. Sometimes I think I have gotten over a situation, and then suddenly realize I have actually taken 5 steps back, yay go me. It is very difficult because I want nothing more than to be content with the way things are, because I, nor anyone can change what has already happened, but it is very hard to not think about the "what ifs." Especially for people who are at a young age, like me, and haven't had as much experience with relationships, the first time you feel like you have met someone that you would do anything for, or want to spend all of your time with, is hard to lose, and you can feel like you will never feel that way again. Wanna hear a secret? I have heard that although you think you will never feel that way again, you will. It can take time, but it could be even better the next time. As my mom says, "you will break hearts and have your heart broken, but every time that happens you are one step closer to finding the real thing." It could be a romantic relationship, or it could be a best friend who you felt understood you better than anyone else. Losing someone who makes you feel unique, loved, and special is something I do not think I can ever explain fully, frankly it sucks. For me at least, I can know how better off I am, or how far I have bettered myself without the person, but it still will hurt no matter what I do. I do not know if the hurt will ever go away, but I can say it will not sting as much as time goes on. It becomes even more awful though when you wear "rose colored glasses." By this, I mean that as people, when we look back at our past and things that we miss, we do not view things as they were, we make them up to be better than they actually were. And, with that mind set, of course things are going to feel impossible to get over. Although life may not go the way you want, imagine things in your "ideal" way, and then think about your life now. What you would have not gained now? In my situation, I am happy things worked out the way they did, although sometimes I am wishing to get past memories to reoccur. I can say I miss the person more than words can describe and I will always love them, but they kinda suck if we are being real, and there's a reason they aren't in my life anymore. Since then, I have gained many people I care about and that I have an awesome time with. Think about it in your case, if you were still friends with that person, or with that person, would you be where you are now? Would you be the person you are today? I can answer for you. Probably not. I can not tell you which one is better, but from experience I think it is the one you were given. Things happen in mysterious ways and for reasons we may never know. You win some you lose some, and from experience, what you think are losses, usually turn out to be large wins in disguise.
Have a fantastic thanksgiving! Feel free to contact me anytime.
Taylor
I think everyone has a person that no matter what happens or how much time passes, you will always love them and want the best for them. To go more in depth, I have a few people I have had ridiculously unique relationships with, ones I do not think I can necessarily find again, but there is always one person that just hooks ya, atleast, that's how I see it. When things, as in relationships, or plans do not work out how I wanted, as you may already know, I believe it is for a reason. But, sometimes it is very hard to understand why things do not work out the way you wanted because they seemed like they would be perfect. No matter how much time passes, sometimes it is hard to get over a situation, for me, it takes me a very long time to mourn the loss of any type of relationship, depending on how much the person means to me. It takes a certain kind of person for me to open up and trust, but when I do, you will know I really care about you, especially if I make fun of you ;). It is okay to take some time and think about a situation, obviously you do not want to devote your whole life to analyzing it, but taking a step back and assessing what went wrong can be good, as long as it isn't obsessive. Sometimes I think I have gotten over a situation, and then suddenly realize I have actually taken 5 steps back, yay go me. It is very difficult because I want nothing more than to be content with the way things are, because I, nor anyone can change what has already happened, but it is very hard to not think about the "what ifs." Especially for people who are at a young age, like me, and haven't had as much experience with relationships, the first time you feel like you have met someone that you would do anything for, or want to spend all of your time with, is hard to lose, and you can feel like you will never feel that way again. Wanna hear a secret? I have heard that although you think you will never feel that way again, you will. It can take time, but it could be even better the next time. As my mom says, "you will break hearts and have your heart broken, but every time that happens you are one step closer to finding the real thing." It could be a romantic relationship, or it could be a best friend who you felt understood you better than anyone else. Losing someone who makes you feel unique, loved, and special is something I do not think I can ever explain fully, frankly it sucks. For me at least, I can know how better off I am, or how far I have bettered myself without the person, but it still will hurt no matter what I do. I do not know if the hurt will ever go away, but I can say it will not sting as much as time goes on. It becomes even more awful though when you wear "rose colored glasses." By this, I mean that as people, when we look back at our past and things that we miss, we do not view things as they were, we make them up to be better than they actually were. And, with that mind set, of course things are going to feel impossible to get over. Although life may not go the way you want, imagine things in your "ideal" way, and then think about your life now. What you would have not gained now? In my situation, I am happy things worked out the way they did, although sometimes I am wishing to get past memories to reoccur. I can say I miss the person more than words can describe and I will always love them, but they kinda suck if we are being real, and there's a reason they aren't in my life anymore. Since then, I have gained many people I care about and that I have an awesome time with. Think about it in your case, if you were still friends with that person, or with that person, would you be where you are now? Would you be the person you are today? I can answer for you. Probably not. I can not tell you which one is better, but from experience I think it is the one you were given. Things happen in mysterious ways and for reasons we may never know. You win some you lose some, and from experience, what you think are losses, usually turn out to be large wins in disguise.
Have a fantastic thanksgiving! Feel free to contact me anytime.
Taylor
Tuesday, November 11, 2014
Self Love is key
Hi everyone! I hope you have had a great couple of weeks and especially an awesome halloween! Tonight I am going to be talking about something that hits close to home for me and a lot of other people, especially girls. If you have any thoughts please feel free to comment or email me, (only nice or intellectual thought provoking comments are wanted. :-))
Body Image is "the way that someone perceives their body and assumes that others perceive them. This image is often affected by family, friends, social pressure and the media." As I started to research the topic I found a couple of disturbing statistics. "Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media. 58% of college-aged girls feel pressured to be a certain weight." After reading those statistics I felt sick. Being healthy is one thing, but girls should not feel the pressure to look and be a certain way. When their are arguments over body image, most will usually bring up how unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look are portrayed daily through social media. The amount of photo shop and airbrushing that goes into these photos of women on the covers of magazines is unreal. And, the sad thing is that there are a lot of girls who look at these magazines, and social media representations and then look at themselves and become dissatisfied. But, what those little girls don't know is that even the people featured in those photos can not achieve that level of flawlessness. In my opinion, to be beautiful you don't have to be as skinny as they come, but if you are that's okay too. To me as cheesy as this is confidence and happiness are key. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone is going to think something different is beautiful, so why are we all striving to be the same? My point in bringing this topic up is to talk about how to feel good in you're own skin. If you think I have the answer to that I am going to inform you that I sadly don't. I wish I did, but I myself am still trying to find it. The only thing I know is that no matter how much weight I lost, or how much muscle I gained in the past, I still was not happy with my self. Working out and eating healthy does help you feel better and improves your physique, but it is not everything and I know for damn sure it does not solve all your problems like you think losing weight will do. Through my trials and errors of dealing with my poor body-image I now know that no matter how much the scale reads, how many compliments you receive, you do not feel any better until you accept yourself and love yourself. It comes from within. You can work out as much as you want and eat as well as you possibly can, and you can look like a damn princess and still not be happy. For me, I still have not processed that, and I definitely am still a work in progress, but I am trying. Instead of comparing my self to others without even realizing it, and standing in front of the mirror critiquing myself I am going to try, and have been trying to just not. I have been starting to workout more and get involved in more things that make me happy, and am hoping it will help. Also, I have noticed that some of the reason that boys and girls are both so self conscious is of what they expect the opposite sex to look like. Of course this is a huge generalization, but from articles by the name of "7 reasons you should date a girl with an eating disorder," and boys who girls look up to such as Nash Grier who say they love natural girls, and to not wear makeup but then proceed to say that peach fuzz and arm air are a big no, makes me realize why so many people are insecure at such an early age. Everyone expects something from everyone and it is setting society up in an unpleasant destructive way. We need to break the cycle. For more information please visit www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-body-image. All statistics were derived from dosomething.org
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, or feel like you are drowning in sadness over your body, I promise you are not alone. Here are a few things you can do: a hotline for all issues regarding body image:18443350872, call a parent or a friend, get educated and reach out for help, you can visit dosomething.org and they can help for free and confidentially.
Please feel free to email me anytime. I hope this helps.
Taylor
Body Image is "the way that someone perceives their body and assumes that others perceive them. This image is often affected by family, friends, social pressure and the media." As I started to research the topic I found a couple of disturbing statistics. "Approximately 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and resort to dieting to achieve their ideal body shape. Unfortunately, only 5% of women naturally possess the body type often portrayed by Americans in the media. 58% of college-aged girls feel pressured to be a certain weight." After reading those statistics I felt sick. Being healthy is one thing, but girls should not feel the pressure to look and be a certain way. When their are arguments over body image, most will usually bring up how unrealistic expectations of how a woman should look are portrayed daily through social media. The amount of photo shop and airbrushing that goes into these photos of women on the covers of magazines is unreal. And, the sad thing is that there are a lot of girls who look at these magazines, and social media representations and then look at themselves and become dissatisfied. But, what those little girls don't know is that even the people featured in those photos can not achieve that level of flawlessness. In my opinion, to be beautiful you don't have to be as skinny as they come, but if you are that's okay too. To me as cheesy as this is confidence and happiness are key. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and everyone is going to think something different is beautiful, so why are we all striving to be the same? My point in bringing this topic up is to talk about how to feel good in you're own skin. If you think I have the answer to that I am going to inform you that I sadly don't. I wish I did, but I myself am still trying to find it. The only thing I know is that no matter how much weight I lost, or how much muscle I gained in the past, I still was not happy with my self. Working out and eating healthy does help you feel better and improves your physique, but it is not everything and I know for damn sure it does not solve all your problems like you think losing weight will do. Through my trials and errors of dealing with my poor body-image I now know that no matter how much the scale reads, how many compliments you receive, you do not feel any better until you accept yourself and love yourself. It comes from within. You can work out as much as you want and eat as well as you possibly can, and you can look like a damn princess and still not be happy. For me, I still have not processed that, and I definitely am still a work in progress, but I am trying. Instead of comparing my self to others without even realizing it, and standing in front of the mirror critiquing myself I am going to try, and have been trying to just not. I have been starting to workout more and get involved in more things that make me happy, and am hoping it will help. Also, I have noticed that some of the reason that boys and girls are both so self conscious is of what they expect the opposite sex to look like. Of course this is a huge generalization, but from articles by the name of "7 reasons you should date a girl with an eating disorder," and boys who girls look up to such as Nash Grier who say they love natural girls, and to not wear makeup but then proceed to say that peach fuzz and arm air are a big no, makes me realize why so many people are insecure at such an early age. Everyone expects something from everyone and it is setting society up in an unpleasant destructive way. We need to break the cycle. For more information please visit www.dosomething.org/facts/11-facts-about-body-image. All statistics were derived from dosomething.org
If you are struggling with an eating disorder, or feel like you are drowning in sadness over your body, I promise you are not alone. Here are a few things you can do: a hotline for all issues regarding body image:18443350872, call a parent or a friend, get educated and reach out for help, you can visit dosomething.org and they can help for free and confidentially.
Please feel free to email me anytime. I hope this helps.
Taylor
Sunday, October 26, 2014
You Can't Always Fix Everything
Hello again, I hope you guys have had a great week so far. I am going to be talking about a topic that has been difficult for me to understand and that has presented itself largely in my day to day life in college.
Growing up, my parents taught me that if I ever had an issue with someone the best way to deal with it was to talk to them about it, nicely, and try to resolve it. Although I have not always followed the "nicely" part, I believe in talking out issues. I was always taught relationships (friendships, etc.) were not meant to be thrown away after one argument, or disagreement, nor were problems to be ignored.
Although I haven't been in college for very long I have been thrown a lot of issues that I was not expecting to have. Through that, I have had to figure out ways to deal with them. It has been difficult, to say the least, but it has helped me grow, and able to let me be more independent. In this case, I am talking about roommates. But this can apply to a lot of different situations. Though some people share a room with multiple people, I share a room with only one other person. To say it nicely, it has been awful. For most people, it is that they either love or hate their roommate, there really is no middle. I had no one I was close to come to my university, so I was placed with a random person. Sometimes it works out flawlessly, but other times, like in my case, it just doesn't work. No matter who you get, whether you like them or don't it isn't easy. It gets difficult because in college people come from everywhere, and from those different places are different values, and ways of living. When someone has different morals, values, and is the exact opposite of you, it becomes difficult. At home, I had my own room, and my sister and I shared a bathroom. It was nice because when I wanted to be alone I could go up to my room and be alone and not be bothered. I did not realize how much I miss having a space to myself, because there are times when everyone really does need that alone time. When it becomes especially difficult is when the other person does not know how, or does not want to communicate. I have not had the best time here, so the last thing I want to come back to is a hostile roommate, and a bad vibe in the room. Through dealing with it though I have realized that there is only so much you can control. No matter how many times you talk to someone, you can only do so much. If someone is a mean spirited person, or they just don't care, there isn't much you can do. That has been hard for me to realize. I am one of those people who can be ridiculously lazy, but at the same time, if I really want something, I will do anything in my power to get it. So, when I can not make something better no matter how hard I try it is frustrating beyond belief, but I guess it is a good lesson to learn now versus later. Like they say, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it."
Tips:
1. Look for a roommate early
This will help you get someone who is a good fit for you and will make it less stressful.
2. Ask if your school has a website to find a roommate
My school had a website that matched you with people who had similar lifestyles to your own and had a place where you could talk and message each other. Most of my friends found their roommates there and it is perfect because only people who are admitted to the school can use it!
3. Ask the tough questions
I regret not asking questions that were important. It does not matter if you are friends with your roommate, or if you have things in common. What matters is that you can live well together.
Are you introverted, extroverted? What time do you usually go to bed? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Are people aloud to spend the night? Who, when? How will you deal with a disagreement? Have this in writing, because then you can hold the other person accountable.
4. Try talking to your roommate
Present the problem in a nice way and try coming up with a compromise. It may help, if it doesn't it's okay! Shit happens.
5. Talk to your CM
Every dorm has a CM or RA or someone who is there specifically to help make dorm life run smoothly. Mine is a blessing. It sounds stupid, but even if you don't want to get them involved directly, talking about how to deal with it helps immensely, at least for me it did. If you do want them to, they can meet with both of you and be the mediator. I have not done that, but I have friends who have and they say it worked well
6. Try to switch
This is good and bad advice. It could possibly get worse. For me, I am leaving in 30 days, so there isn't a point, but you just have to decide if you want to take the risk of the person being even more awful than your original roommate. Or it could be 1000 times better.
If you feel the need feel free to email me!
Take care,
Taylor
Growing up, my parents taught me that if I ever had an issue with someone the best way to deal with it was to talk to them about it, nicely, and try to resolve it. Although I have not always followed the "nicely" part, I believe in talking out issues. I was always taught relationships (friendships, etc.) were not meant to be thrown away after one argument, or disagreement, nor were problems to be ignored.
Although I haven't been in college for very long I have been thrown a lot of issues that I was not expecting to have. Through that, I have had to figure out ways to deal with them. It has been difficult, to say the least, but it has helped me grow, and able to let me be more independent. In this case, I am talking about roommates. But this can apply to a lot of different situations. Though some people share a room with multiple people, I share a room with only one other person. To say it nicely, it has been awful. For most people, it is that they either love or hate their roommate, there really is no middle. I had no one I was close to come to my university, so I was placed with a random person. Sometimes it works out flawlessly, but other times, like in my case, it just doesn't work. No matter who you get, whether you like them or don't it isn't easy. It gets difficult because in college people come from everywhere, and from those different places are different values, and ways of living. When someone has different morals, values, and is the exact opposite of you, it becomes difficult. At home, I had my own room, and my sister and I shared a bathroom. It was nice because when I wanted to be alone I could go up to my room and be alone and not be bothered. I did not realize how much I miss having a space to myself, because there are times when everyone really does need that alone time. When it becomes especially difficult is when the other person does not know how, or does not want to communicate. I have not had the best time here, so the last thing I want to come back to is a hostile roommate, and a bad vibe in the room. Through dealing with it though I have realized that there is only so much you can control. No matter how many times you talk to someone, you can only do so much. If someone is a mean spirited person, or they just don't care, there isn't much you can do. That has been hard for me to realize. I am one of those people who can be ridiculously lazy, but at the same time, if I really want something, I will do anything in my power to get it. So, when I can not make something better no matter how hard I try it is frustrating beyond belief, but I guess it is a good lesson to learn now versus later. Like they say, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it."
Tips:
1. Look for a roommate early
This will help you get someone who is a good fit for you and will make it less stressful.
2. Ask if your school has a website to find a roommate
My school had a website that matched you with people who had similar lifestyles to your own and had a place where you could talk and message each other. Most of my friends found their roommates there and it is perfect because only people who are admitted to the school can use it!
3. Ask the tough questions
I regret not asking questions that were important. It does not matter if you are friends with your roommate, or if you have things in common. What matters is that you can live well together.
Are you introverted, extroverted? What time do you usually go to bed? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Are people aloud to spend the night? Who, when? How will you deal with a disagreement? Have this in writing, because then you can hold the other person accountable.
4. Try talking to your roommate
Present the problem in a nice way and try coming up with a compromise. It may help, if it doesn't it's okay! Shit happens.
5. Talk to your CM
Every dorm has a CM or RA or someone who is there specifically to help make dorm life run smoothly. Mine is a blessing. It sounds stupid, but even if you don't want to get them involved directly, talking about how to deal with it helps immensely, at least for me it did. If you do want them to, they can meet with both of you and be the mediator. I have not done that, but I have friends who have and they say it worked well
6. Try to switch
This is good and bad advice. It could possibly get worse. For me, I am leaving in 30 days, so there isn't a point, but you just have to decide if you want to take the risk of the person being even more awful than your original roommate. Or it could be 1000 times better.
If you feel the need feel free to email me!
Take care,
Taylor
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Helpful Tips & A Random Personal Story
Hello again! Sorry for not writing sooner. Truthfully, I have been having trouble coming up with an interesting topic, madly studying for midterms, yes still, and also I am so close to finishing How I met Your Mother I have just been binge watching it as much as I possibly can. Whoops. It seems that I am never inspired to write unless it is past 8pm, but tonight what inspired me for whatever reason was the new Taylor Swift song, "Welcome to New York." If you have not yet listened to it, it is damn good and catchy, so you should get on that. I have been dancing to it for the past hour, just wait for it, that will be you too soon, don't worry...
Wanna hear a weird story?
Maybe it's just me, but I had something interesting happen to me the other day. This has happened to me before, but it does not happen often. When it happens, it is random, and with people I am not necessarily close to. For example, the other day I had to go in and talk to my English professor about a paper I wrote and I also needed to get some information about the class I had missed. Side note, my Professor is in her late 20's early 30's and is someone who really does care about her students outside of the classroom. As I sat down, she gave me a weird glance, but I ignored it and we started to talk about my paper. After she was done speaking, she gave me the same glance and looked at me with concern in her eyes. She said, "I've noticed you've been going home a lot, how have you been feeling?" (I have missed her class once to go home.) So, I do not really know why she said that, but as soon as she finished her sentence, I broke down. It was weird. I do not do that. Especially at a meeting with a professor! I explained to her that I haven't been happy and that I am disappointed because I really wanted it to work out. She consoled me and gave me some tips and told me that greater things were coming my way. It was definitely something I needed, which was great. To be honest, I have no clue why I am sharing this story because it is embarrassing, but hey, you gotta embrace it right? I have noticed this happens, but only with certain people. The person typically gives me a look that says "I'm genuinely concerned about you, are you okay?" and their tone of voice is full of concern. Like I said, I do not really know why this happens, but here is my guess. To have people who genuinely want to hear you spill your guts to them and who care and want to help you are hard to find and are very rare. Especially for some person who barely knows you to care that much is special. As much as this moment makes me cringe, looking back at it, it also makes me incredibly happy. I take it as a little sign from the universe saying "hey, even though it doesn't look like it, I am watching out for you, and everything is going to be okay." I am a definite believer in signs and that things happen for a reason. That moment was something I definitely have needed recently which is what makes it so cool. There is always something or someone looking out for you, even if you don't know exactly what it is. Don't forget that. If this has happened to you, email me and let me know! I would love to hear about it and know that I am not the only odd ball out there. ;)
Frustrated?
1. Take a bath
Sounds stupid, but it works. I do it and it helps me relax and get into a better frame of mind.
2. Call someone
I was in a god awful mood tonight and I called my mom. I did not even really know why I was frustrated but when talking to her everything I was feeling that I could not put into words poured out of me. I can not even explain how but it just spewed out like a volcano without me even having to think about and it was the most freeing feeling. If you call someone you trust and are comfortable with you will either a. feel better by venting to them or b. if you have trouble putting into words why you are upset like me, then it will just come out eventually.
3. Listen to music
It will put you in a better mood and will relieve some of the stress and anxiety you may be feeling. Also, it gives you some time to think and relax. Who doesn't need that?
4. Write
It does not matter if it is a letter, or a blog, or a list, or whatever, writing is a form of release. It helps a lot, more than you think, and helps put your ideas into words and helps you understand what you're really thinking/ feeling. I highly recommend it! Hence, one of the reasons I write this blog.
And most importantly let it out somehow.
I have done this too many times without even knowing I am doing it. I keep my stress bottled up and sure enough I get sick because of it. Yes, physically sick, or I end up eventually exploding over something miniscule and stupid. Get your anger and frustration out. It's unhealthy to keep it bottled up and keeping it in will eventually create more harm than needed.
If you ever feel the need, I am always able to be reached by email!
Take care,
Taylor
Wanna hear a weird story?
Maybe it's just me, but I had something interesting happen to me the other day. This has happened to me before, but it does not happen often. When it happens, it is random, and with people I am not necessarily close to. For example, the other day I had to go in and talk to my English professor about a paper I wrote and I also needed to get some information about the class I had missed. Side note, my Professor is in her late 20's early 30's and is someone who really does care about her students outside of the classroom. As I sat down, she gave me a weird glance, but I ignored it and we started to talk about my paper. After she was done speaking, she gave me the same glance and looked at me with concern in her eyes. She said, "I've noticed you've been going home a lot, how have you been feeling?" (I have missed her class once to go home.) So, I do not really know why she said that, but as soon as she finished her sentence, I broke down. It was weird. I do not do that. Especially at a meeting with a professor! I explained to her that I haven't been happy and that I am disappointed because I really wanted it to work out. She consoled me and gave me some tips and told me that greater things were coming my way. It was definitely something I needed, which was great. To be honest, I have no clue why I am sharing this story because it is embarrassing, but hey, you gotta embrace it right? I have noticed this happens, but only with certain people. The person typically gives me a look that says "I'm genuinely concerned about you, are you okay?" and their tone of voice is full of concern. Like I said, I do not really know why this happens, but here is my guess. To have people who genuinely want to hear you spill your guts to them and who care and want to help you are hard to find and are very rare. Especially for some person who barely knows you to care that much is special. As much as this moment makes me cringe, looking back at it, it also makes me incredibly happy. I take it as a little sign from the universe saying "hey, even though it doesn't look like it, I am watching out for you, and everything is going to be okay." I am a definite believer in signs and that things happen for a reason. That moment was something I definitely have needed recently which is what makes it so cool. There is always something or someone looking out for you, even if you don't know exactly what it is. Don't forget that. If this has happened to you, email me and let me know! I would love to hear about it and know that I am not the only odd ball out there. ;)
Frustrated?
1. Take a bath
Sounds stupid, but it works. I do it and it helps me relax and get into a better frame of mind.
2. Call someone
I was in a god awful mood tonight and I called my mom. I did not even really know why I was frustrated but when talking to her everything I was feeling that I could not put into words poured out of me. I can not even explain how but it just spewed out like a volcano without me even having to think about and it was the most freeing feeling. If you call someone you trust and are comfortable with you will either a. feel better by venting to them or b. if you have trouble putting into words why you are upset like me, then it will just come out eventually.
3. Listen to music
It will put you in a better mood and will relieve some of the stress and anxiety you may be feeling. Also, it gives you some time to think and relax. Who doesn't need that?
4. Write
It does not matter if it is a letter, or a blog, or a list, or whatever, writing is a form of release. It helps a lot, more than you think, and helps put your ideas into words and helps you understand what you're really thinking/ feeling. I highly recommend it! Hence, one of the reasons I write this blog.
And most importantly let it out somehow.
I have done this too many times without even knowing I am doing it. I keep my stress bottled up and sure enough I get sick because of it. Yes, physically sick, or I end up eventually exploding over something miniscule and stupid. Get your anger and frustration out. It's unhealthy to keep it bottled up and keeping it in will eventually create more harm than needed.
If you ever feel the need, I am always able to be reached by email!
Take care,
Taylor
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Making the "Right" Decision
Hi again- sorry I haven't been writing lately. I have been consumed in my thoughts, writing 6 page essays, studying for midterms, and possibly binge watching How I Met Your Mother...
As I previously stated, I have been thinking a lot lately. Since I was younger, I've always wanted to go to college, a four year university to be exact. I got that dream fulfilled, but I have not been happy. It's frustrating, because I consider myself to be extremely independent and outgoing, and coming here I feel like I have lost both of those qualities. It hasn't been very long, but I have that gut feeling that where I am isn't the place for me. About a month ago, I started to take my unhappiness and concentrate it into something positive. Instead of staying in all the time, I started going out, meeting new people, and making the best of the situation. I knew that I needed to try and see if I could make this whole situation better and really give it my best. It did get better, but not enough to where it felt right staying. I started to contemplate leaving, and as I started bringing it up it was hard for my parents to hear, but they helped me explore my options. I stressed to them I didn't want to make the "wrong" decision. They both told me that whether I decided to stay or leave, it would be okay. They weren't super happy about it, but all they want is for me to be happy and for me to be successful, that's what all parents want, even if it doesn't always come off that way. If you are unhappy or are in a bad situation don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. Before talking to my parents about it, I talked to my best friend and she really helped me open my eyes to the situation, and think about it in a new way, it was a good practice for the real thing. If you are unhappy wherever you are choosing a different plan isn't always a bad thing. I have always thought I was going to go a four year university and graduate from there, and it's been hard for me to swallow that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted, but that doesn't mean my plan now is any worse. To be honest, a couple weeks ago I was contemplating staying even though I am miserable. Why? I didn't want other people to judge me. I usually don't care what anyone thinks about me, but the thought of someone thinking that I was "giving up too easily" scared me. But, after thinking about it, and talking to my best friend, I realized that other peoples thoughts shouldn't affect another persons decision. It isn't anyone else's life, it is mine, so I need to make my decisions based on what I think is best for ME, not what is going to make everyone else happy. What I'm saying is everything happens for a reason. If there is anything I know, it is that. So, if something doesn't turn out the way you originally planned, don't freak out. As much as I haven't followed my last "rule" these past few weeks everything will turn out the way it needs to with the proper effort so don't get discouraged. Any ways, the point of me sharing this story is that there isn't a "right" choice. Though there are some situations where right and wrong are black and white sometimes it isn't like that. And, in those situations I do not think that there is a "wrong" choice. A decision is what you make it, and as long as you work hard with whatever you have, everything will be okay. The universe has a plan even if it isn't what you originally thought, things that are spontaneous and unplanned are far better than anything we could have ever imagined. Keep your head up!
xoxo Taylor
As I previously stated, I have been thinking a lot lately. Since I was younger, I've always wanted to go to college, a four year university to be exact. I got that dream fulfilled, but I have not been happy. It's frustrating, because I consider myself to be extremely independent and outgoing, and coming here I feel like I have lost both of those qualities. It hasn't been very long, but I have that gut feeling that where I am isn't the place for me. About a month ago, I started to take my unhappiness and concentrate it into something positive. Instead of staying in all the time, I started going out, meeting new people, and making the best of the situation. I knew that I needed to try and see if I could make this whole situation better and really give it my best. It did get better, but not enough to where it felt right staying. I started to contemplate leaving, and as I started bringing it up it was hard for my parents to hear, but they helped me explore my options. I stressed to them I didn't want to make the "wrong" decision. They both told me that whether I decided to stay or leave, it would be okay. They weren't super happy about it, but all they want is for me to be happy and for me to be successful, that's what all parents want, even if it doesn't always come off that way. If you are unhappy or are in a bad situation don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. Before talking to my parents about it, I talked to my best friend and she really helped me open my eyes to the situation, and think about it in a new way, it was a good practice for the real thing. If you are unhappy wherever you are choosing a different plan isn't always a bad thing. I have always thought I was going to go a four year university and graduate from there, and it's been hard for me to swallow that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted, but that doesn't mean my plan now is any worse. To be honest, a couple weeks ago I was contemplating staying even though I am miserable. Why? I didn't want other people to judge me. I usually don't care what anyone thinks about me, but the thought of someone thinking that I was "giving up too easily" scared me. But, after thinking about it, and talking to my best friend, I realized that other peoples thoughts shouldn't affect another persons decision. It isn't anyone else's life, it is mine, so I need to make my decisions based on what I think is best for ME, not what is going to make everyone else happy. What I'm saying is everything happens for a reason. If there is anything I know, it is that. So, if something doesn't turn out the way you originally planned, don't freak out. As much as I haven't followed my last "rule" these past few weeks everything will turn out the way it needs to with the proper effort so don't get discouraged. Any ways, the point of me sharing this story is that there isn't a "right" choice. Though there are some situations where right and wrong are black and white sometimes it isn't like that. And, in those situations I do not think that there is a "wrong" choice. A decision is what you make it, and as long as you work hard with whatever you have, everything will be okay. The universe has a plan even if it isn't what you originally thought, things that are spontaneous and unplanned are far better than anything we could have ever imagined. Keep your head up!
xoxo Taylor
Friday, September 19, 2014
6 Tips to Being Happy
Happiness- "A mental or emotional state of well-being characterized by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy." As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, my senior year and summer going into my freshman year of college was the absolute best year of my life thus far. I explored France for two weeks and stayed in a french home, I went to various events and experienced their culture, I flew to Texas to reunite with one of my closest friends, and last but not least spent a week at a beach house with my family and friends. My favorite part of the summer was spending every waking moment doing something. I was always exploring and adventuring with the people I love most, even if it was somewhere local. Leaving to go to college was a huge shock and for me like I have mentioned earlier it has been very difficult.
This may not be the case for everyone, but for me at least there are multiple reasons I haven't been my happiest and a lot of those reasons aren't in my control but, some are.
1. Don't give up
If you are unhappy in a particular situation and setting I'm not telling you to stay there, because honestly even I have been thinking about leaving but make the best effort. I'm a month into college and I know about 6 people and have been feeling ridiculously lonely and homesick, and only now am I realizing I can't just expect people to come to me I need to go out and make an effort. Complaining and sitting and watching Netflix religiously won't help you at all, but wouldn't it be awesome if it did?
2. Go home
Seriously, homesickness is real just like senioritis is. You hear people talking about them often but you do not really acknowledge that they are real until you have them. Go see your dog, ask your mom to do your laundry, have a movie night with your best friend, and spend some quality time with your parents. I love my parents and I'm lucky enough to be close to them as much as they both irritate me, and despite what you think, you will miss them. I don't care if you're 35 or 18, it happens. Last year I swore to them I wouldn't miss home and that I was "over California" and better off elsewhere. I definitely thought my mom would be the one calling me every day and telling me how much she misses me, but guess who that is in reality? That would be me ;) In the beginning I thought maybe going home wouldn't help me and just make me want to stay forever but it actually re-motivates you to go back and kick some ass at school or wherever you may be.
3. Friends and Family are forever
My 3 best friends all stayed home and as much as they say they want to be in my position I want to be in theirs. It sucks when your friends all hang out with each other, trust me it really does. I personally get a little jealous especially since I haven't really made a life for myself yet where I am now. But, they are their when you get back. Focus on you. This sounds immature but instead of bumming my self out I don't look at my friends snap chat stories or social media. All it's going to do is make me sad and distract me from what I need to be doing which is either writing a 7 page essay (yes, those are real sadly), or having fun, so I just don't.
4. Don't get hammered every night
Wow what a concept. Especially where I am this seems to be a hard tip for people to swallow because frankly there's not much else to do. But, especially if you are unhappy it is the stupidest thing you can do. Luckily I don't have an addictive personality but I have already seen a couple of people drowning because of the combination of sadness and alcohol. You can't just drink away your problems. It doesn't work like that. The people I know who went down that route are now even more depressed and worse off then they were before, it isn't worth it, honest. Froyo dates and netflix nights still should be a thing, in my book at least.
5. Go to parties
Though I haven't met a lot of people, the people I have met are from the parties I have been to. You do not have to drink to go. I have been to a lot of different parties where I am the one taking care of everyone and those are the ones I have had the most fun at personally. You dance and mingle and also, it's just fun to watch a bunch of people act idiotically because they aren't always in their best form of mind.
6. Explore your surroundings
It doesn't matter what age you are, go on adventures. My most fun memories here so far have been getting out of my usual area and going to new places. Whether it's doing an activity you've never done before, shopping at a new mall, or just eating at a new restaurant, new is good. Being around things you aren't familiar with can only help you grow even if it doesn't feel like you are.
I hope this helped, thank you again for your support & I hope you have a fantastic weekend!
If you want to contact me, please feel free, my email is tsmithh14@gmail.com
This may not be the case for everyone, but for me at least there are multiple reasons I haven't been my happiest and a lot of those reasons aren't in my control but, some are.
1. Don't give up
If you are unhappy in a particular situation and setting I'm not telling you to stay there, because honestly even I have been thinking about leaving but make the best effort. I'm a month into college and I know about 6 people and have been feeling ridiculously lonely and homesick, and only now am I realizing I can't just expect people to come to me I need to go out and make an effort. Complaining and sitting and watching Netflix religiously won't help you at all, but wouldn't it be awesome if it did?
2. Go home
Seriously, homesickness is real just like senioritis is. You hear people talking about them often but you do not really acknowledge that they are real until you have them. Go see your dog, ask your mom to do your laundry, have a movie night with your best friend, and spend some quality time with your parents. I love my parents and I'm lucky enough to be close to them as much as they both irritate me, and despite what you think, you will miss them. I don't care if you're 35 or 18, it happens. Last year I swore to them I wouldn't miss home and that I was "over California" and better off elsewhere. I definitely thought my mom would be the one calling me every day and telling me how much she misses me, but guess who that is in reality? That would be me ;) In the beginning I thought maybe going home wouldn't help me and just make me want to stay forever but it actually re-motivates you to go back and kick some ass at school or wherever you may be.
3. Friends and Family are forever
My 3 best friends all stayed home and as much as they say they want to be in my position I want to be in theirs. It sucks when your friends all hang out with each other, trust me it really does. I personally get a little jealous especially since I haven't really made a life for myself yet where I am now. But, they are their when you get back. Focus on you. This sounds immature but instead of bumming my self out I don't look at my friends snap chat stories or social media. All it's going to do is make me sad and distract me from what I need to be doing which is either writing a 7 page essay (yes, those are real sadly), or having fun, so I just don't.
4. Don't get hammered every night
Wow what a concept. Especially where I am this seems to be a hard tip for people to swallow because frankly there's not much else to do. But, especially if you are unhappy it is the stupidest thing you can do. Luckily I don't have an addictive personality but I have already seen a couple of people drowning because of the combination of sadness and alcohol. You can't just drink away your problems. It doesn't work like that. The people I know who went down that route are now even more depressed and worse off then they were before, it isn't worth it, honest. Froyo dates and netflix nights still should be a thing, in my book at least.
5. Go to parties
Though I haven't met a lot of people, the people I have met are from the parties I have been to. You do not have to drink to go. I have been to a lot of different parties where I am the one taking care of everyone and those are the ones I have had the most fun at personally. You dance and mingle and also, it's just fun to watch a bunch of people act idiotically because they aren't always in their best form of mind.
6. Explore your surroundings
It doesn't matter what age you are, go on adventures. My most fun memories here so far have been getting out of my usual area and going to new places. Whether it's doing an activity you've never done before, shopping at a new mall, or just eating at a new restaurant, new is good. Being around things you aren't familiar with can only help you grow even if it doesn't feel like you are.
I hope this helped, thank you again for your support & I hope you have a fantastic weekend!
If you want to contact me, please feel free, my email is tsmithh14@gmail.com
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