Hi Everyone, it has been awhile since I have blogged, and I apologize. I love blogging and I really miss it. Since now and my last post, there have been many changes. To start off, I am officially home, and I could not be happier with my choice. As unhappy as I was, I was very nervous and apprehensive to leave but I now know I definitely made the right decision. I have started school and am back in the groove of things and it is such a great feeling. Anyway, I haven't blogged because I have been struggling to figure out what to talk about, but hey that's not new. My inspiration always hits me at the most random and bizarre times, but I guess it's better late than never, so here we go.
Growing up I was never the stereotypical girly girl. By that I mean, I did not enjoy shopping or wearing make up or talking about boys, in fact I wanted absolutely nothing to do with any of it. My mom used to force me to buy new clothes because I was always satisfied with my beat up overalls and ripped vans. With that said, I also was never the tomboy. One would hardly say I was athletic. I tried playing soccer when I was 6, and I was pretty good, if good is defined as scoring in my own teams goal consistently. :) I fell somewhere in the middle of tomboy and girly which I feel is where most people do. Throughout elementary school, middle school, and high school I followed the beat of my own drum which is how I have always been. I was never concerned about what people thought of me, nor did I care, for the most part. I have always had a bizarre, dorky, sarcastic personality and never fell into one specific category. But, I have never been super confident nor have I done things far out of my comfort zone when it came to style until recently.
I am not very good at expressing myself unless it is in my writing. But, since graduation I have decided that I do not care and have just run with whatever look I am feeling that day and I am glad I did. Because of it I feel comfortable in my own skin and am starting to figure out who I am which is very exciting to me. I have started to challenge my self more often to go out of my comfort zone because that is the only way you grow. For example, I recently just got my nose pierced. I never did it because for one I couldn't do it without my parents permission unless I was 18, and also I never wanted to do it because I was too scared to push the boundaries for myself. It may seem very miniscule, but for me it was a big step. I have wanted it since the 9th grade and after 4 years of wanting it I finally got the courage to do it. I used to wear little stick on studs and pretended that I had it done, I was pretty creative (; Anyway, the point of this story is to just not care what others think, and to some extent that can include your parents.
My parents were 100% against me getting it, but it's my body, my choice, and it makes ME happy, so why not? I am not saying to be disrespectful and defy what they ask of you but at some point in time you have to just ask yourself if it is worth sacrificing your happiness for what they think is best for you. You are going to be on your own one day, it may not be soon, but I think it is important to make your own decisions. You have to know what is best for you and what is going to make you happy and feel confident, not them. You have to make decisions that make you feel liberated, but also ones that end up being mistakes. Lord knows I am not perfect and have made countless mistakes, plenty of which my parents let me make, and I am so thankful for it.
My parents knew I wasn't ready to leave home yet, but I was convinced that I was ready so they let me figure it out for myself. Experiment. Whether it is with clothes, makeup, friends, whatever, try new things. Just because the clothes you like aren't "in style" doesn't mean you shouldn't buy them. Who cares? The norm is over rated anyway. Wear those psychedelic pants or that long bohemian skirt or that funky hat. When it comes to style, every thing you wear is an extension of your personality, so make it as crazy or as mellow as you want. Wear that purple lipstick because you love it and no one else is wearing it yet. Dye your hair pink for the summer if it makes you feel beautiful. Life is too short to sit and let society's expectations control what we do.
I have never been a makeup guru nor was I ever one who was gifted in fashion but after high school I started to play around with my look. I dyed my hair dark for a little while then I switched it to light, I wore a disgusting amount of face makeup and tried painting my nails ombre. I failed miserably, and my friends got a good laugh but through that I figured out what I do and don't like, and now I can say I know what I am doing most of the time which is really nice for me to be able to say. Style is the example I am using because I have always lacked it. I never had an interest because I was too scared to experiment with it and look weird. Now, I would always rather be the girl who people say has weird style than the girl who gives in to everyone else's expectations and desires for her. To sum my whole rant up, do what makes you happy, and don't be scared to test your limits. You will thank yourself later.
