Hello again, I hope you guys have had a great week so far. I am going to be talking about a topic that has been difficult for me to understand and that has presented itself largely in my day to day life in college.
Growing up, my parents taught me that if I ever had an issue with someone the best way to deal with it was to talk to them about it, nicely, and try to resolve it. Although I have not always followed the "nicely" part, I believe in talking out issues. I was always taught relationships (friendships, etc.) were not meant to be thrown away after one argument, or disagreement, nor were problems to be ignored.
Although I haven't been in college for very long I have been thrown a lot of issues that I was not expecting to have. Through that, I have had to figure out ways to deal with them. It has been difficult, to say the least, but it has helped me grow, and able to let me be more independent. In this case, I am talking about roommates. But this can apply to a lot of different situations. Though some people share a room with multiple people, I share a room with only one other person. To say it nicely, it has been awful. For most people, it is that they either love or hate their roommate, there really is no middle. I had no one I was close to come to my university, so I was placed with a random person. Sometimes it works out flawlessly, but other times, like in my case, it just doesn't work. No matter who you get, whether you like them or don't it isn't easy. It gets difficult because in college people come from everywhere, and from those different places are different values, and ways of living. When someone has different morals, values, and is the exact opposite of you, it becomes difficult. At home, I had my own room, and my sister and I shared a bathroom. It was nice because when I wanted to be alone I could go up to my room and be alone and not be bothered. I did not realize how much I miss having a space to myself, because there are times when everyone really does need that alone time. When it becomes especially difficult is when the other person does not know how, or does not want to communicate. I have not had the best time here, so the last thing I want to come back to is a hostile roommate, and a bad vibe in the room. Through dealing with it though I have realized that there is only so much you can control. No matter how many times you talk to someone, you can only do so much. If someone is a mean spirited person, or they just don't care, there isn't much you can do. That has been hard for me to realize. I am one of those people who can be ridiculously lazy, but at the same time, if I really want something, I will do anything in my power to get it. So, when I can not make something better no matter how hard I try it is frustrating beyond belief, but I guess it is a good lesson to learn now versus later. Like they say, "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink it."
Tips:
1. Look for a roommate early
This will help you get someone who is a good fit for you and will make it less stressful.
2. Ask if your school has a website to find a roommate
My school had a website that matched you with people who had similar lifestyles to your own and had a place where you could talk and message each other. Most of my friends found their roommates there and it is perfect because only people who are admitted to the school can use it!
3. Ask the tough questions
I regret not asking questions that were important. It does not matter if you are friends with your roommate, or if you have things in common. What matters is that you can live well together.
Are you introverted, extroverted? What time do you usually go to bed? Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend? Are people aloud to spend the night? Who, when? How will you deal with a disagreement? Have this in writing, because then you can hold the other person accountable.
4. Try talking to your roommate
Present the problem in a nice way and try coming up with a compromise. It may help, if it doesn't it's okay! Shit happens.
5. Talk to your CM
Every dorm has a CM or RA or someone who is there specifically to help make dorm life run smoothly. Mine is a blessing. It sounds stupid, but even if you don't want to get them involved directly, talking about how to deal with it helps immensely, at least for me it did. If you do want them to, they can meet with both of you and be the mediator. I have not done that, but I have friends who have and they say it worked well
6. Try to switch
This is good and bad advice. It could possibly get worse. For me, I am leaving in 30 days, so there isn't a point, but you just have to decide if you want to take the risk of the person being even more awful than your original roommate. Or it could be 1000 times better.
If you feel the need feel free to email me!
Take care,
Taylor
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Helpful Tips & A Random Personal Story
Hello again! Sorry for not writing sooner. Truthfully, I have been having trouble coming up with an interesting topic, madly studying for midterms, yes still, and also I am so close to finishing How I met Your Mother I have just been binge watching it as much as I possibly can. Whoops. It seems that I am never inspired to write unless it is past 8pm, but tonight what inspired me for whatever reason was the new Taylor Swift song, "Welcome to New York." If you have not yet listened to it, it is damn good and catchy, so you should get on that. I have been dancing to it for the past hour, just wait for it, that will be you too soon, don't worry...
Wanna hear a weird story?
Maybe it's just me, but I had something interesting happen to me the other day. This has happened to me before, but it does not happen often. When it happens, it is random, and with people I am not necessarily close to. For example, the other day I had to go in and talk to my English professor about a paper I wrote and I also needed to get some information about the class I had missed. Side note, my Professor is in her late 20's early 30's and is someone who really does care about her students outside of the classroom. As I sat down, she gave me a weird glance, but I ignored it and we started to talk about my paper. After she was done speaking, she gave me the same glance and looked at me with concern in her eyes. She said, "I've noticed you've been going home a lot, how have you been feeling?" (I have missed her class once to go home.) So, I do not really know why she said that, but as soon as she finished her sentence, I broke down. It was weird. I do not do that. Especially at a meeting with a professor! I explained to her that I haven't been happy and that I am disappointed because I really wanted it to work out. She consoled me and gave me some tips and told me that greater things were coming my way. It was definitely something I needed, which was great. To be honest, I have no clue why I am sharing this story because it is embarrassing, but hey, you gotta embrace it right? I have noticed this happens, but only with certain people. The person typically gives me a look that says "I'm genuinely concerned about you, are you okay?" and their tone of voice is full of concern. Like I said, I do not really know why this happens, but here is my guess. To have people who genuinely want to hear you spill your guts to them and who care and want to help you are hard to find and are very rare. Especially for some person who barely knows you to care that much is special. As much as this moment makes me cringe, looking back at it, it also makes me incredibly happy. I take it as a little sign from the universe saying "hey, even though it doesn't look like it, I am watching out for you, and everything is going to be okay." I am a definite believer in signs and that things happen for a reason. That moment was something I definitely have needed recently which is what makes it so cool. There is always something or someone looking out for you, even if you don't know exactly what it is. Don't forget that. If this has happened to you, email me and let me know! I would love to hear about it and know that I am not the only odd ball out there. ;)
Frustrated?
1. Take a bath
Sounds stupid, but it works. I do it and it helps me relax and get into a better frame of mind.
2. Call someone
I was in a god awful mood tonight and I called my mom. I did not even really know why I was frustrated but when talking to her everything I was feeling that I could not put into words poured out of me. I can not even explain how but it just spewed out like a volcano without me even having to think about and it was the most freeing feeling. If you call someone you trust and are comfortable with you will either a. feel better by venting to them or b. if you have trouble putting into words why you are upset like me, then it will just come out eventually.
3. Listen to music
It will put you in a better mood and will relieve some of the stress and anxiety you may be feeling. Also, it gives you some time to think and relax. Who doesn't need that?
4. Write
It does not matter if it is a letter, or a blog, or a list, or whatever, writing is a form of release. It helps a lot, more than you think, and helps put your ideas into words and helps you understand what you're really thinking/ feeling. I highly recommend it! Hence, one of the reasons I write this blog.
And most importantly let it out somehow.
I have done this too many times without even knowing I am doing it. I keep my stress bottled up and sure enough I get sick because of it. Yes, physically sick, or I end up eventually exploding over something miniscule and stupid. Get your anger and frustration out. It's unhealthy to keep it bottled up and keeping it in will eventually create more harm than needed.
If you ever feel the need, I am always able to be reached by email!
Take care,
Taylor
Wanna hear a weird story?
Maybe it's just me, but I had something interesting happen to me the other day. This has happened to me before, but it does not happen often. When it happens, it is random, and with people I am not necessarily close to. For example, the other day I had to go in and talk to my English professor about a paper I wrote and I also needed to get some information about the class I had missed. Side note, my Professor is in her late 20's early 30's and is someone who really does care about her students outside of the classroom. As I sat down, she gave me a weird glance, but I ignored it and we started to talk about my paper. After she was done speaking, she gave me the same glance and looked at me with concern in her eyes. She said, "I've noticed you've been going home a lot, how have you been feeling?" (I have missed her class once to go home.) So, I do not really know why she said that, but as soon as she finished her sentence, I broke down. It was weird. I do not do that. Especially at a meeting with a professor! I explained to her that I haven't been happy and that I am disappointed because I really wanted it to work out. She consoled me and gave me some tips and told me that greater things were coming my way. It was definitely something I needed, which was great. To be honest, I have no clue why I am sharing this story because it is embarrassing, but hey, you gotta embrace it right? I have noticed this happens, but only with certain people. The person typically gives me a look that says "I'm genuinely concerned about you, are you okay?" and their tone of voice is full of concern. Like I said, I do not really know why this happens, but here is my guess. To have people who genuinely want to hear you spill your guts to them and who care and want to help you are hard to find and are very rare. Especially for some person who barely knows you to care that much is special. As much as this moment makes me cringe, looking back at it, it also makes me incredibly happy. I take it as a little sign from the universe saying "hey, even though it doesn't look like it, I am watching out for you, and everything is going to be okay." I am a definite believer in signs and that things happen for a reason. That moment was something I definitely have needed recently which is what makes it so cool. There is always something or someone looking out for you, even if you don't know exactly what it is. Don't forget that. If this has happened to you, email me and let me know! I would love to hear about it and know that I am not the only odd ball out there. ;)
Frustrated?
1. Take a bath
Sounds stupid, but it works. I do it and it helps me relax and get into a better frame of mind.
2. Call someone
I was in a god awful mood tonight and I called my mom. I did not even really know why I was frustrated but when talking to her everything I was feeling that I could not put into words poured out of me. I can not even explain how but it just spewed out like a volcano without me even having to think about and it was the most freeing feeling. If you call someone you trust and are comfortable with you will either a. feel better by venting to them or b. if you have trouble putting into words why you are upset like me, then it will just come out eventually.
3. Listen to music
It will put you in a better mood and will relieve some of the stress and anxiety you may be feeling. Also, it gives you some time to think and relax. Who doesn't need that?
4. Write
It does not matter if it is a letter, or a blog, or a list, or whatever, writing is a form of release. It helps a lot, more than you think, and helps put your ideas into words and helps you understand what you're really thinking/ feeling. I highly recommend it! Hence, one of the reasons I write this blog.
And most importantly let it out somehow.
I have done this too many times without even knowing I am doing it. I keep my stress bottled up and sure enough I get sick because of it. Yes, physically sick, or I end up eventually exploding over something miniscule and stupid. Get your anger and frustration out. It's unhealthy to keep it bottled up and keeping it in will eventually create more harm than needed.
If you ever feel the need, I am always able to be reached by email!
Take care,
Taylor
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Making the "Right" Decision
Hi again- sorry I haven't been writing lately. I have been consumed in my thoughts, writing 6 page essays, studying for midterms, and possibly binge watching How I Met Your Mother...
As I previously stated, I have been thinking a lot lately. Since I was younger, I've always wanted to go to college, a four year university to be exact. I got that dream fulfilled, but I have not been happy. It's frustrating, because I consider myself to be extremely independent and outgoing, and coming here I feel like I have lost both of those qualities. It hasn't been very long, but I have that gut feeling that where I am isn't the place for me. About a month ago, I started to take my unhappiness and concentrate it into something positive. Instead of staying in all the time, I started going out, meeting new people, and making the best of the situation. I knew that I needed to try and see if I could make this whole situation better and really give it my best. It did get better, but not enough to where it felt right staying. I started to contemplate leaving, and as I started bringing it up it was hard for my parents to hear, but they helped me explore my options. I stressed to them I didn't want to make the "wrong" decision. They both told me that whether I decided to stay or leave, it would be okay. They weren't super happy about it, but all they want is for me to be happy and for me to be successful, that's what all parents want, even if it doesn't always come off that way. If you are unhappy or are in a bad situation don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. Before talking to my parents about it, I talked to my best friend and she really helped me open my eyes to the situation, and think about it in a new way, it was a good practice for the real thing. If you are unhappy wherever you are choosing a different plan isn't always a bad thing. I have always thought I was going to go a four year university and graduate from there, and it's been hard for me to swallow that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted, but that doesn't mean my plan now is any worse. To be honest, a couple weeks ago I was contemplating staying even though I am miserable. Why? I didn't want other people to judge me. I usually don't care what anyone thinks about me, but the thought of someone thinking that I was "giving up too easily" scared me. But, after thinking about it, and talking to my best friend, I realized that other peoples thoughts shouldn't affect another persons decision. It isn't anyone else's life, it is mine, so I need to make my decisions based on what I think is best for ME, not what is going to make everyone else happy. What I'm saying is everything happens for a reason. If there is anything I know, it is that. So, if something doesn't turn out the way you originally planned, don't freak out. As much as I haven't followed my last "rule" these past few weeks everything will turn out the way it needs to with the proper effort so don't get discouraged. Any ways, the point of me sharing this story is that there isn't a "right" choice. Though there are some situations where right and wrong are black and white sometimes it isn't like that. And, in those situations I do not think that there is a "wrong" choice. A decision is what you make it, and as long as you work hard with whatever you have, everything will be okay. The universe has a plan even if it isn't what you originally thought, things that are spontaneous and unplanned are far better than anything we could have ever imagined. Keep your head up!
xoxo Taylor
As I previously stated, I have been thinking a lot lately. Since I was younger, I've always wanted to go to college, a four year university to be exact. I got that dream fulfilled, but I have not been happy. It's frustrating, because I consider myself to be extremely independent and outgoing, and coming here I feel like I have lost both of those qualities. It hasn't been very long, but I have that gut feeling that where I am isn't the place for me. About a month ago, I started to take my unhappiness and concentrate it into something positive. Instead of staying in all the time, I started going out, meeting new people, and making the best of the situation. I knew that I needed to try and see if I could make this whole situation better and really give it my best. It did get better, but not enough to where it felt right staying. I started to contemplate leaving, and as I started bringing it up it was hard for my parents to hear, but they helped me explore my options. I stressed to them I didn't want to make the "wrong" decision. They both told me that whether I decided to stay or leave, it would be okay. They weren't super happy about it, but all they want is for me to be happy and for me to be successful, that's what all parents want, even if it doesn't always come off that way. If you are unhappy or are in a bad situation don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. Before talking to my parents about it, I talked to my best friend and she really helped me open my eyes to the situation, and think about it in a new way, it was a good practice for the real thing. If you are unhappy wherever you are choosing a different plan isn't always a bad thing. I have always thought I was going to go a four year university and graduate from there, and it's been hard for me to swallow that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted, but that doesn't mean my plan now is any worse. To be honest, a couple weeks ago I was contemplating staying even though I am miserable. Why? I didn't want other people to judge me. I usually don't care what anyone thinks about me, but the thought of someone thinking that I was "giving up too easily" scared me. But, after thinking about it, and talking to my best friend, I realized that other peoples thoughts shouldn't affect another persons decision. It isn't anyone else's life, it is mine, so I need to make my decisions based on what I think is best for ME, not what is going to make everyone else happy. What I'm saying is everything happens for a reason. If there is anything I know, it is that. So, if something doesn't turn out the way you originally planned, don't freak out. As much as I haven't followed my last "rule" these past few weeks everything will turn out the way it needs to with the proper effort so don't get discouraged. Any ways, the point of me sharing this story is that there isn't a "right" choice. Though there are some situations where right and wrong are black and white sometimes it isn't like that. And, in those situations I do not think that there is a "wrong" choice. A decision is what you make it, and as long as you work hard with whatever you have, everything will be okay. The universe has a plan even if it isn't what you originally thought, things that are spontaneous and unplanned are far better than anything we could have ever imagined. Keep your head up!
xoxo Taylor
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