Hi Guys!! AH the holiday season is rapidly approaching and thanksgiving is on thursday and as a college student, thanksgiving is a dream come true, thank the lord it is only a few short days away! I am flying home tomorrow and I do not think I could be happier. I have sadly been swamped with homework and tests, yet again. If you are in high school and think you have it rough, enjoy it now, you will soon have essays on essays, and, spoiler alert: it is not fun. :) I always seem to be updating you on what I am watching or listening to, so to continue that trend I am now obsessing over Grey's Anatomy and am for whatever reason listening to Selena Gomez's new track on repeat. The name of the song is, the heart wants what it wants, don't let the cliché turn you off, it is good. I love the video, it is very raw and during it, she shows her real emotion and that is very rare to see in an artist, so it is cool to watch, if you have a chance you should go check it out.
I think everyone has a person that no matter what happens or how much time passes, you will always love them and want the best for them. To go more in depth, I have a few people I have had ridiculously unique relationships with, ones I do not think I can necessarily find again, but there is always one person that just hooks ya, atleast, that's how I see it. When things, as in relationships, or plans do not work out how I wanted, as you may already know, I believe it is for a reason. But, sometimes it is very hard to understand why things do not work out the way you wanted because they seemed like they would be perfect. No matter how much time passes, sometimes it is hard to get over a situation, for me, it takes me a very long time to mourn the loss of any type of relationship, depending on how much the person means to me. It takes a certain kind of person for me to open up and trust, but when I do, you will know I really care about you, especially if I make fun of you ;). It is okay to take some time and think about a situation, obviously you do not want to devote your whole life to analyzing it, but taking a step back and assessing what went wrong can be good, as long as it isn't obsessive. Sometimes I think I have gotten over a situation, and then suddenly realize I have actually taken 5 steps back, yay go me. It is very difficult because I want nothing more than to be content with the way things are, because I, nor anyone can change what has already happened, but it is very hard to not think about the "what ifs." Especially for people who are at a young age, like me, and haven't had as much experience with relationships, the first time you feel like you have met someone that you would do anything for, or want to spend all of your time with, is hard to lose, and you can feel like you will never feel that way again. Wanna hear a secret? I have heard that although you think you will never feel that way again, you will. It can take time, but it could be even better the next time. As my mom says, "you will break hearts and have your heart broken, but every time that happens you are one step closer to finding the real thing." It could be a romantic relationship, or it could be a best friend who you felt understood you better than anyone else. Losing someone who makes you feel unique, loved, and special is something I do not think I can ever explain fully, frankly it sucks. For me at least, I can know how better off I am, or how far I have bettered myself without the person, but it still will hurt no matter what I do. I do not know if the hurt will ever go away, but I can say it will not sting as much as time goes on. It becomes even more awful though when you wear "rose colored glasses." By this, I mean that as people, when we look back at our past and things that we miss, we do not view things as they were, we make them up to be better than they actually were. And, with that mind set, of course things are going to feel impossible to get over. Although life may not go the way you want, imagine things in your "ideal" way, and then think about your life now. What you would have not gained now? In my situation, I am happy things worked out the way they did, although sometimes I am wishing to get past memories to reoccur. I can say I miss the person more than words can describe and I will always love them, but they kinda suck if we are being real, and there's a reason they aren't in my life anymore. Since then, I have gained many people I care about and that I have an awesome time with. Think about it in your case, if you were still friends with that person, or with that person, would you be where you are now? Would you be the person you are today? I can answer for you. Probably not. I can not tell you which one is better, but from experience I think it is the one you were given. Things happen in mysterious ways and for reasons we may never know. You win some you lose some, and from experience, what you think are losses, usually turn out to be large wins in disguise.
Have a fantastic thanksgiving! Feel free to contact me anytime.
Taylor
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