Hi again- sorry I haven't been writing lately. I have been consumed in my thoughts, writing 6 page essays, studying for midterms, and possibly binge watching How I Met Your Mother...
As I previously stated, I have been thinking a lot lately. Since I was younger, I've always wanted to go to college, a four year university to be exact. I got that dream fulfilled, but I have not been happy. It's frustrating, because I consider myself to be extremely independent and outgoing, and coming here I feel like I have lost both of those qualities. It hasn't been very long, but I have that gut feeling that where I am isn't the place for me. About a month ago, I started to take my unhappiness and concentrate it into something positive. Instead of staying in all the time, I started going out, meeting new people, and making the best of the situation. I knew that I needed to try and see if I could make this whole situation better and really give it my best. It did get better, but not enough to where it felt right staying. I started to contemplate leaving, and as I started bringing it up it was hard for my parents to hear, but they helped me explore my options. I stressed to them I didn't want to make the "wrong" decision. They both told me that whether I decided to stay or leave, it would be okay. They weren't super happy about it, but all they want is for me to be happy and for me to be successful, that's what all parents want, even if it doesn't always come off that way. If you are unhappy or are in a bad situation don't be afraid to talk to someone about it. Before talking to my parents about it, I talked to my best friend and she really helped me open my eyes to the situation, and think about it in a new way, it was a good practice for the real thing. If you are unhappy wherever you are choosing a different plan isn't always a bad thing. I have always thought I was going to go a four year university and graduate from there, and it's been hard for me to swallow that it hasn't worked out the way I wanted, but that doesn't mean my plan now is any worse. To be honest, a couple weeks ago I was contemplating staying even though I am miserable. Why? I didn't want other people to judge me. I usually don't care what anyone thinks about me, but the thought of someone thinking that I was "giving up too easily" scared me. But, after thinking about it, and talking to my best friend, I realized that other peoples thoughts shouldn't affect another persons decision. It isn't anyone else's life, it is mine, so I need to make my decisions based on what I think is best for ME, not what is going to make everyone else happy. What I'm saying is everything happens for a reason. If there is anything I know, it is that. So, if something doesn't turn out the way you originally planned, don't freak out. As much as I haven't followed my last "rule" these past few weeks everything will turn out the way it needs to with the proper effort so don't get discouraged. Any ways, the point of me sharing this story is that there isn't a "right" choice. Though there are some situations where right and wrong are black and white sometimes it isn't like that. And, in those situations I do not think that there is a "wrong" choice. A decision is what you make it, and as long as you work hard with whatever you have, everything will be okay. The universe has a plan even if it isn't what you originally thought, things that are spontaneous and unplanned are far better than anything we could have ever imagined. Keep your head up!
xoxo Taylor
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